8 Comments

"Times ran left instead of right at the start of a 2D platformer level"

I'd always smugly thought I was the only one who did this. Then there was an achievement for it in one of the Rayman games and my bubble was burst. I think it was called That's Not Right.

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Always found Reggie's 'man of the people' reputation a bit weird when he was at NOA, but it seems he's determined to fully torpedo it – the Game Boy Micro slander was bad enough, but picking on Donkey Konga? At least he didn't slag off Jungle Beat, I suppose, but perhaps he's saving that for the next round of interviews. Intrigued to see what's next: Super Mario Galaxy wasn't all that? Chibi-Robo should be put to death? Smash Bros is the pinnacle of fighting-game design?

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For my heavenly dashboard analytics I'll be checking the "Hours that video games stole" section:

Hours spent in Zelda tutorial levels doing things you already knew you could do

Hours spent in the air falling in the St. Francis Folly level in the original Tomb Raider

Hours spent indignant and looking at "You Died" screens in FromSoftware games

Hours spent pressing forward in AAA games as cinematic things zip around in front of you

Hours spent clicking X to exhaust the NPC dialogue in Skyrim as fast as you can

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I was absolutely horrified when Sony sent me an email at the end of last year with how much time I had sunk into the very mediocre Avengers game. Think I may prefer ignorance, to delude myself that I didn't waste *that many* precious hours navigating clumsy menus comparing incredibly boring loot.

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I’ve always thought about this specifically for GTA. I’d love to see a lifetime stats page for cars stolen, pedestrians hit, incorrect cheat code entries, total money earned through shady behaviour and most importantly, hours spent listening to Master Sounds 98.3 in GTA:SA.

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Times you started a game "Now I will actually beat you" to play the first level and leave it be to pick up a couple of years down the road

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- number of successful parries

- number of deaths while trying to parry

- total number of mushrooms eaten

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I think you forgot times accidentally looking up a female characters skirt. Although I doubt that would be a stat anyone would be proud of. But isn't that the whole point when your credits roll...

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